Over a year invested in this relationship. Together, on break, single, or just friends, you are my first love. Looking back we were so infactuated. It seemed like a good thing then, but to come to think of it, it was too soon to think all of that. Now all the mistakes we make, the heartaches we feel just seem so stupid because we think so highly of each other...but why have too high of expectations? Being understanding is what made us fall in love. Being able to talk to the other person knowing they have an open ear to just listen, and perhaps give advice when needed. Learning everyday how to make the other person happy. Don't get me wrong, I still love you to this day. Maybe we just pushed things too much. Maybe its just time to let everything happen by itself because love conquers all. Love isn't all about "you" or "me"...its about making each other happy and enjoying the time we have together. I love you with all my heart and I'm sorry I haven't been making you happy.
So you officially became the person you said you would never be...and for that I don't hate you, just very disappointed and hurt.
I don't know what it is, if this is a challenge or a sign. The worst thing about having to make a decision is not knowing the outcome. My heart and mind are at two different roads right now, and its very difficult to make a decision! I wish a had a scapegoat, and skip card so that I can "skip" this decision...but if I don't make a decision, someone gets hurt. FUUUUCKMYYYYLIFEEEE. That's the last thing I need right now. Someone needs to occupy my time right now cus I just really need to take a break from reality.
Lucas: I need you to trust me and believe me when I tell you that my heart is with you. But part of me feels like ever since we got back together, you’ve just been waiting… waiting to push me away.
Brooke: Oh, great. You kiss Peyton, again, and I’m pushing you away! God!
Lucas: I love you, Brooke. I don’t know how else to say it.
Brooke: How about how you show it? I am not pushing you away, Lucas. I am holding on for dear life, but I need you to need me back. Okay, why wouldn’t you tell me about the kiss? And why didn’t you call me while you were away? And why won’t you ever just let me all the way in?
