so today i got asked to prom by my good friend, ALEX NAJERAAA! :]
oh it was a good day! took my english cst test today...i think i did pretty good. umm, geometry, bio, & PE were a breeze. i got a note during PE saying to go meet someone at my old 6th period classroom.
sooo i went & some asian guy gave me another clue. it said to go to the lunch tables where me, alex, & cara sit while they ditched 6th.
sooo i went...alexa gave me another clue. it said to go the "X", 'cus there's only one "X" at the school xD LAME.
sooo i went then cara gives me a clue. i'm like "WTF?! WHERE THE HECK AM I GOING?! -_-" anyways, it said to go to the basketball courts, which was cute 'cus i play ball! x] yeaaah...lame too xD jk.
so while we were walking to the basketball courts, cara made this "cough noise" & i see alex in front of me with a sign that says "prom?" with a buncha balloons & a masquerade mask x] HOWW CUUUUTE!! awe, thanks alex :] he made everything himself, VERY TALENTED for a guy! thank you for taking the time & effort to think of something after i totally RUINED your first idea...which by the way I'M REALLY SORRY about. xD & thank you for everyone who helped him with the idea & me carrying my stuff; cara, madho, zerreyna, alexa, & some asian guy...i don't even know him so i can't put his name down -_- OH WELL... THANK YOU AGAINNNN!!
prom should be funnnn! :]] i can't wait. the theme is 'masquerade ball'? i don't know, that's what i heard. anyways, to be honest, i didn't think i would get asked to prom this year...LETS GOOOO! :D all four dances in my freshman year! WOOOO! :]]
sooo yeah...that was my day :] <3
EFF TODAY MAN! today was chill in the beginning, ya know? it was my godsister's dad's birthday party today! i came home around 8ish 'cus there was school tomorrow. anyways, when i get home, my dad starts yelling at me. i'm like "WHAT THE F*CK?" -_- sh*tttt...plus, i was all buzzed so i'm like double the "WHAT THE F*CK?!" i get all pissed, starting yelling & sh*t. like i effin' swear, i think this was the most pissed i got EVER. -_-
anyways, later, jerome texted me saying my friend was in the hospital for "hyper ventilating". they think it was 'cus of his girlfriend...effin' raising his blood pressure & shiii! THE FUH?! WHAT KINNA GIRLFRIEND DOES THAT?! -_- so i was effin' scared, so i start asking all these questions. hopefully he's fine.
F*CK! today was good, tonight was horrible! shiii! i started crying -_______-
EFF MY MO'EFFIN' LIFE!! X91849258590!
but friday & saturday was bomb!
why the eff did today have to ruin my weekend?! EFF! >:[
to forgive is to forget.
i'm barely at the stage of forgiving...& i highly doubt i can forget.
i feel so disappointed & broken. i know tomorrow is your birthday & as much as i want to greet you, i can't 'cus apparently...we're not in good terms. well first i talked to my friends about a good way to greet you a happy birthday. MOST of them said i should, only a couple said i shouldn't. anyways...i decide i should, so you know that i still remembered. i asked my friend, if i should tell you in person or through text [either way it will be awkward but at least it you know i still care]. she said to text you first so i know if you're willing to talk to me.
Sent: April 21, 2009, 9:52 P.M.
"hi"
i finally had the balls to text you in how many weeks? about two months. i'll admit, i didn't want to, but i did. 'cus i thought to myself "what do i got to lose?" i waited...& waited...& waited...no reply. i texted my friend again telling her that you didn't text back...she told me a lot of stuff that opened my eyes, mind, & heart. i feel so stupid for believing YOU & NOT believing MYSELF. i had feelings that i chose to ignore. i'm an idiot, a stupid teenage girl who obviously can't make good judgements. it hurts 'til this moment that everything you've done, everything you've said to me was all BULLSH*T! again...i believed you & not myself...
i honestly don't know what to do. i WANT to be friends with you, i WANT to talk things out, i WANT things to be good between us...but those are all "wants"...i don't NEED them. so i'm just gonna forget about you. you obviously don't think about me anymore...you obviously don't care anymore...since you moved on that fast, i will too. now...i know i'm not gonna be as fast as you, but i'm willing to forget EVERYTHING; every text, every call, every hug, every kiss...all will be forgotten. i hope that someday, someone will ask me about you & i'll reply..."who is he? i do not remember him." ONE DAY, i hope that will happen...ONE DAY.
as of now...
i just want to wish you a happy birthday...
OH & have a great life.
lates.
so apparently, april is mainly supposed to be a month where there's nonstop rain, right? BUT NO RAIN. that's a good thing, to those who hate the rain. anyways, its been raining a lot lately....well to me. it seems like i haven't seen the sun ever since spring break started. basically, what i'm trying to say is that my SPRING BREAK SUCKS! nothing good has happened. the only good day was wednesday, the day that i chilled with my good ol' pal, mathew del rosario. that fool shined some effin' light to my dull self. well anyways, that was basically the ONLY good day of spring break for me.
lets see, friday, april 3, was a good day. celebrated walnut's last pep rally [GLOW IN THE DARK!], plus my friends & i celebrated ms. zerreyna's early birthday. so that was a good day. saturday...alright day, very chill. ivy, the cousin, slept over til sunday...that's when the rain started. oh, i was effin' pissed sunday night. just some personal crap got to me that was so intense that it made me cry. monday..another rainy day. cried again, due to friend drama. [read previous blog "apologies don't quite solve anything"] tuesday...rainy day. cried AGAIN, due to the anger of my parents. [read previous blog "040709; birds fly away"] i know whatchu thinking..."ria is such a cry baby! she cries about everything! blah blah blah" honestly, i can care less whatchu think, this is how i handle my shiii. what can i say? i'm very emotional. anyways, wednesday...THE ONLY GREAT DAY OF SPRING BREAK. i felt so rebellious, sneaking outta the house while i'm supposed to be grounded. [lame, right?] lol. && NOW thursday...chill day, whack @ss night. shoot dude, i know i'm such a goody-two-shoes & i don't tolerate people who do stupid sh!t like steal. MOTHER-in-law! -_- i effin' swear. i can never let crap like this go...
april...oh how i hate you so much right now...YOU HAVE NOT BROUGHT ME A SUNNY DAY! but hey, you're supposed to be the month full of rain, right? i should've saw this coming...
hopefully, the month of may will bring me some hope after this horrible month...'cus i need some light, some inspiration in my life. PLEASE APRIL, go easy on me...i'm not only but a cry baby...
today i got grounded. people might think its a stupid reason to get grounded for...oh well! sooo like my grandpa asked me & my family to take care of his 11 parakeets while he vacations in the philippines with my grandma. we agreed. ANYWAYS, today my friend, jerome, comes in & tells my bro, louie, that the birds are gone. apparently, some stupid ass cat tips over the bird cage & ALL 11 BIRDS FLY AWAY! -_-
we went to petsmart to replace the birds before anyone finds out, but THESE EFFIN' BIRDS ARE ABOUT $20 EACH! THE FUHHH?!?! so we ended up telling my parents...OF COURSE they were pissed, since they were at work & couldn't do anything about it. so me & my bro are grounded...DURING SPRING BREAK! FML! -_-
damn birds, who buys 11 birds?! such an odd number! & WTF?! $20 EACH?! shiiii!
hopefully, my parents will laugh about this when they come home...OH I'M SUCH A JOKER! -_-
bye bye birdies, i hate chu.
bye bye spring break...you weren't that great anyways...yet.
i've learned that in today's world, it is harder for people to forgive...well the for the person who i'm trying to apologize to. i don't understand what i did wrong. HONESTLY. best friends just don't get mad at you for no reason...at least they'll TELL you straight up what you did wrong. apparently, the words "best friends" is used in vain a lot.
i'd like to think my friends will stick by me, or at least have a good reason to be mad at me. hopefully, my "best friend" will realize that i never meant to hurt her. i didn't even know i did anything wrong. HONESTLY. alot of you who are reading this will think i'm being insensitive & a bad friend 'cus i don't know what i did wrong...but if you FULLY know the situation, then you'll understand what i'm saying. i don't want to publicize the whole drama i'm going through, but all i can say is that you gotta be careful who your "best friends" are. i'm not saying this to be cliche & shiii, but its true. i THOUGHT she was my best friend, well one of them, but i'm not so sure anymore...hopefully, my apology will be good enough to help her forgive me because i don't know how to fix something that i didn't know was broken in the beginning.
have your friends ever confronted you about something? may i remind that i said "friends". alotta people consider "friends" and "best friends" as two separate things. when a friend confronts you about something, you noticed how its always about something small? but when your best friend(s) confronts you, you end up having this big ol' lecture? that's what i go through almost errday ever since i started high school. don't get me wrong, its a good thing i have people telling me what's up, especially when i've been acting up. see, my friends will tell me if i'm being rude, but my best friends will be like "GIRRRL, you're being such a b*tch right now!" the good thing about having best friends is that you know you can count on them, whether its keeping your secrets or having random laughs just 'cus a word sounds funny to you guys.
my friends keep me sane, they remind me to never be someone who i'm not. i thank God everyday that i met these wonderful people. there are some people who i wish i was still best friends with...but some things aren't meant to be. hopefully, the people i've met this year will be the ones who will stick by me, no matter what. knowing that they love me unconditionally is all the inspiration i need to have the courage to be who i am, because these are the people i call my best friends, & ] i can honestly say that they're practically family
