"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails."
Love is...something I need to work on. And I'm sure it'll take a life time to finally get it right.
I hate the feeling when you feel all alone in a room full of people.
I hate the feeling when you know something bad is gonna happen and you want to prevent it, but you can't.
I hate the feeling when you did all you can do, but its never good enough.
I hate the feeling when you get all emotional, but then later tell yourself its not worth your tears.
I hate the feeling when you care for someone so much, but they don't care much for you.
I hate the feeling when you want confront someone, but if you do it'll only make things worse.
I hate the feeling when you have all the faith in something, but everyone is against you.
I hate the feeling when you want something, but its too hard to get.
I hate the feeling when you need to vent out your feelings but there's no one to go to.
I hate the feeling when you try to make something work, but there's always something in the way.
I hate the feeling when you lose someone's trust and its almost impossible to gain it back.
I hate the feeling when all you want to do is cry, but at the end of the day, it solves nothing.
I hate the feeling when you're so hurt it feels like your heart literally just dropped.
I hate the feeling when you're down, there's no one to bring you up.
I hate the feeling when you expect too much from a person, but later become disappointed cus they didn't meet your standards.
I hate the feeling when you just wanna give up, but you know you'll regret it.
I hate the feeling when you don't know what to do and there's no one to guide you.
I hate the feeling when the one person in your life you never thought would hurt you finally hurts you...and its the worst feeling you ever felt...
Just makes you want to never feel anything ever again...
I remember the day Marc told me that you thought I was cute.
I remember the day you added me on myspace.
I remember the time we messaged each other everyday.
I remember the day you told me you were going to Italy for 2 weeks.
I remember the day you gave me the most awkward hug but I still felt butterflies.
I remember the day you left to Italy while I was still at school.
I remember the day you asked for my number through a message on myspace.
I remember the day I told you I don't give personal info through the internet.
I remember the day I felt that "firework" crush.
I remember the day of the first quince practice, where we were so nervous to talk to each other.
I remember the day you finally asked for my number in person during bowling.
I remember the day you first texted me...because you played the waiting game.
I remember the day you found out I had a "firework" crush on you.
I remember the day you told me you liked me, June 14, 2009.
I remember the day I told you I liked you, June 21, 2009.
I remember the day we had our first, yet another AWKWARD, kiss...because I was so embarrassed I turned when you leaned in.
I remember the times when we stayed up til 4AM talking on the phone when you were at your cousin's house.
I remember the numerous times we played 21 questions.
I remember the weeks we never saw we each other.
I remember the days we were so excited to finally hang out.
I remember the first movie we went to with a very awkward group.
I remember the first thing we said we wanted to do together...watch UP!
I remember the day we got together, August 29, 2009.
Ever since that day, I still continue to remember more and more things about you and the things that we shared together. I hope I will keep remembering because of the many experiences we are bound to go through in our relationship. You are my boyfriend, best friend, and family. I love you with all my heart. Please don't forget the feelings we felt a year ago and the feelings we are feeling now. You will forever have a place in my heart and that is a promise. I love you.
Love Your Girlfriend,
Ria
In my opinion, the word "sorry" is a word most used in vain out of all words. You either mean it or you don't. Most people say it cus they just don't want to be in trouble or keep fighting. Others say it because they truly mean it. When people don't mean it, its when they don't act upon it to redeem themselves. When people do mean it, they'll do anything in their power to prevent themselves from making the same mistake. I'll admit, I've used this word in vain, many times but who hasn't? We're only human, we make mistakes...but that isn't any excuse to continue making mistakes. Mistakes are made to be learned from. The more mistakes you make, the more lessons you're being taught. For me, I must go through things in order to learn from my mistakes...others try to prevent mistakes in general because of what others tell them. I'm very hard-headed and don't listen to people right away. I must go through things to learn my lesson. I don't listen to what people tell me to do. I was just raised that way. I've also been raised to take responsibility for my actions, that if I made a mistake, I must correct it myself and not blame anyone else but myself. Correcting a mistake isn't the easiest thing to do either, especially a mistake like losing someone's trust. Losing someone's trust is the hardest thing to compensate, to make up...but its possible. I just really hope I make it up before that person gives up on me. I feel low...so low that I feel that person doesn't feel the same way they once did about me, but that all comes with the mistake you made, the consequence. After making a mistake comes consequences. They are one of the hardest things to deal with because you THINK you don't deserve it, but you really do. I've tried searching for a scapegoat, but I have none. There are no scapegoats in life. You must go through every obstacle, every problem...whether it be now or later, you'll face it eventually. So why try laying it off? Fix your problems now before it gets worse. Unfortunately, I hope I haven't waited too long that its completely IMPOSSIBLE to fix my problem...hopefully he still trusts me enough that I will fix this problem cus I am really trying...
Stress=tears. Enough said. I'm tired, good night.
It is now the last day of March...nothing happened, nothing was solved. I am officially done.
I could believe all that you've said, but I still don't see how that blog wasn't for me. If it really were for "boyfriends in general", couldn't you just say that? "this all started cause of you";; I really don't see how you can get boyfriends from that. "we've already lost one";; okay, so you've lost me? I would've been somewhat fine if you stopped there, but you added "we'll see how that one ends up..." Honestly, that's really fucked up. What are you trying to say?
You have no clue how much I want to believe you, but all I see it BS!
So we've been through a lot. We used to chill and talk all the time! Coming over to your house to chill, when it was just you and I, or even with other people too. Taking crazy pictures, laughing at stupid stuff. First time going to a Christian church with you and your ex. You've been there for me and I've been there for you. I really considered you one of my best friends. We were soooo close! But things change...a new year has come.
With this new year, we grew, we changed. We aren't the same people we once were last year, BOTH of us. I got a boyfriend, you got a boyfriend. Yes...I did distance myself. I'll admit, it went against what I said last year. "Chicks before dicks". And I'm sorry...but I never stopped caring for you...any of you guys. I never went against you guys, nor I put you down. ESPECIALLY YOU. I never said anything against you or behind your back, after all, you were once so close to me. But it hurts to say that I can't say the same about you...
Even though you didn't straight up say my name in your blog...I know for a FACT you were referring to me. And you can say you didn't mean for it to come out like that...but that's what I heard, that's what everyone else who read it heard. You were so close to me...why, why would you say such hurtful things? I have not said a word to or about you in the past couple months...but now, I say your name everyday since I read your blog. And I'm sorry to say, but its not a good thing. You've hurt me...I don't know where to go from there. I wish I can still say you're one of my best friends, but I don't know anymore. What kind of "best friend" says those things? After ALL we've been through...but I guess we've changed that much.
But this month is coming to an end in a couple weeks...and I want to start fresh. I'm going to leave all that you've said about me in the past. I will try to get over it, but I know for a fact it will leave a scar in my life. With or without you, I will move on. I'm sorry for being such a burden in your life...but you won't have to worry about me anymore because after this month...I'm gone.
Cristian Ruelas is by far the funniest, most thoughtful, most caring, most understanding, most athletic, most adorable, most perfect boyfriend I can ask for. He's taught me so much within the 8 months we've been talking, 6 months we've been together. From the day you told me you liked me (June 18 '09) to now, I consider myself sooo blessed for having someone like you in my life. You're not only my boyfriend, but you're my best friend. I can tell you absolutely anything and I know for a fact you won't judge me but help me, and you won't say anything to anybody. You're so open to trying new things for and with me. You've opened up so much...you've brought me to your soccer games AND you've introduced me to your family (& not even all of them!). Days like those are days I'll NEVER turn down. (= Babe, you mean a lot to me and I can gladly say that I love you! Well that was just some random thought that I had to say. Thank you for such a chill day today! :DD
Okay, so this has been bothering me like CRAZY for the past couple of weeks...I just gotta let it out. Well to me I dislike it when a person talks "rudely" about someone behind their back, not necessarily gossip or spreading rumors...but just all the rude comments. Like sure, I've made mistakes and I've changed but that doesn't mean I've changed completely. I've learned a lot of things and I've learned how to handle things but I am not about to take every little insult about me lightly. Like seriously...we say that we hate it when people talk "shit" but we all do it. WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO BE HYPOCRITES?! I'm not saying I'm perfect and I don't do it...cus I'll admit, I have moments when I'm just so frustrated with someone that I just HAVE to bash them. But at the end of all of it, I feel bad cus I know it was just outta anger. I'm really trying to be a better person and do what is right and not talk about the negative things in people but the positive, or just not bring them up at all. Okay, to me, I think one of the most hurtful thing a person can feel is when someone close (or thought was close) to you says something rude about you behind your back...or even to your face. It hurts and you want to say something but it'll just cause problems. Seriously though, I rather be told that I'm doing something wrong rather than being put down all the time...and yes, there's a difference. When someone tells you you're doing something wrong, they're trying to help you by telling you what you need to fix. But when someone is putting you down, they're basically saying "idgaf about you, youre useless", and that hurts waaaaay more than any mistake you've made and someone trying to tell you to fix it. Like yes, people have told me to fix things and I don't take their advice and fix it, but that doesn't mean they have to start being rude and putting me down, ya know? I don't know, it just hurts...A LOT. Like you thought they would never say stuff like that about you...but they do.
Yes, I've made mistakes. I'm only human. Humans have feelings...that need to be handled with care. Honestly, I'm the most fragile person you'll ever meet and any small, rude comment said about me affects me SOOO MUCH that it hurts. Well...only from those who matter to me. And I'm sure I'm not the only one like that. Many people don't care for the opinions of people that don't matter to them. Actually, the opinions I care about are from the people who impacted my life so greatly...maybe not for the good, but anything big. Whether you left a scar in my life or a hand print on my heart, you'll ALWAYS matter to me. To those who are reading this and KNOW they've impacted my life in ANY way possible, please watch what you say cus deep down...everything you say is kept with me :/
I'm in a point in my life where I realized how much hate there is now that I'm in high school. Ever since I made a formspring (a website where it asks anonymous QUESTIONS, not gives RUDE COMMENTS), I've realized how much people care more about expressing their hate towards someone rather than trying to better their lives. For every second those people waste typing something hurtful or offensive, they're also wasting time to better themselves. I honestly can care less about their opinions because I know I'm nothing like what they say I am...but it just makes me kawawa seeing how much hate there is. Like yeah, it pisses me off cus I'm always like "wtf? what gives you the right to say those things about me?" but it also just makes me realize more of what is truly out there...what people are really like. Before, I used to be SO gullible (& probably still am...but not as much) but now I've been realizing the type of people there are. I used to always think there's good in everyone...but coming to think of it, that's a buncha BS. Sure people are nice to certain people, but not to everyone they barely meet. I try my best to be the nicest person for someone to meet, but sometimes, things just get around & I'm stuck with the reputation people say of me. I honestly HATE when people judge people before they get to really know them...its like missing an opportunity of possibly meeting someone who can change their life for the better! UGHH! It just frustrates me and how much people judge...but I cant really do anything to change their minds except be myself and no one else. I'm a very optimistic girl and I ALWAYS try to find the brighter side of things. I'm always gonna try to find the good in people but as of now...to all the haters; sorry you cant get the pleasure of meeting me. I wish you the best of luck trying to find that someone to better your life...in order to accomplish that, I suggest you to stop judging people before you actually get to know them.
