Confused. Complicated. Messy.

I don't know what it is, if this is a challenge or a sign. The worst thing about having to make a decision is not knowing the outcome. My heart and mind are at two different roads right now, and its very difficult to make a decision! I wish a had a scapegoat, and skip card so that I can "skip" this decision...but if I don't make a decision, someone gets hurt. FUUUUCKMYYYYLIFEEEE. That's the last thing I need right now. Someone needs to occupy my time right now cus I just really need to take a break from reality.

One Tree Hill Episode

Lucas: I need you to trust me and believe me when I tell you that my heart is with you. But part of me feels like ever since we got back together, you’ve just been waiting… waiting to push me away.
Brooke: Oh, great. You kiss Peyton, again, and I’m pushing you away! God!
Lucas: I love you, Brooke. I don’t know how else to say it.
Brooke: How about how you show it? I am not pushing you away, Lucas. I am holding on for dear life, but I need you to need me back. Okay, why wouldn’t you tell me about the kiss? And why didn’t you call me while you were away? And why won’t you ever just let me all the way in?

No subject.

Lost all hope.

Love is...

‎"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails."

Love is...something I need to work on. And I'm sure it'll take a life time to finally get it right.

I Hate The Feeling When...

I hate the feeling when you feel all alone in a room full of people.
I hate the feeling when you know something bad is gonna happen and you want to prevent it, but you can't.
I hate the feeling when you did all you can do, but its never good enough.
I hate the feeling when you get all emotional, but then later tell yourself its not worth your tears.
I hate the feeling when you care for someone so much, but they don't care much for you.
I hate the feeling when you want confront someone, but if you do it'll only make things worse.
I hate the feeling when you have all the faith in something, but everyone is against you.
I hate the feeling when you want something, but its too hard to get.
I hate the feeling when you need to vent out your feelings but there's no one to go to.
I hate the feeling when you try to make something work, but there's always something in the way.
I hate the feeling when you lose someone's trust and its almost impossible to gain it back.
I hate the feeling when all you want to do is cry, but at the end of the day, it solves nothing.
I hate the feeling when you're so hurt it feels like your heart literally just dropped.
I hate the feeling when you're down, there's no one to bring you up.
I hate the feeling when you expect too much from a person, but later become disappointed cus they didn't meet your standards.
I hate the feeling when you just wanna give up, but you know you'll regret it.
I hate the feeling when you don't know what to do and there's no one to guide you.
I hate the feeling when the one person in your life you never thought would hurt you finally hurts you...and its the worst feeling you ever felt...

Just makes you want to never feel anything ever again...