Team meeting was FAIL! A lot was unsaid. A lot of pointing fingers...just overall a mess! It lasted over 15- 20 minutes 'cus no one had the effin' balls to ask questions. We're supposed to be a f*ckin' team. Why the f*ck are we holding things back? -_- UGGHHH! COMPLETE FAIL. It was stupid, so I left. Whatevers, I guess we're having another one of these useless "team meetings" -_-. F*CK IT!
Walnut Girl's JV and Varsity Basketball Team is currently in San Diego for the weekend. We got here yesterday and ever since then, its been nothing but FUN! But last night, I felt so disappointed...and I KNOW she knows why...hopefully she'll listen and learn...FOR REALS. I really don't want her to feel bad, because I know it could've been avoided. I know its hard to say no, but c'mon, I know you're strong. You handle worse situations at your own time. I KNOW YOU'RE STRONG, what happened last night? :/
WELLLLL ANYWAYS....
Lost game one by 4 :(
Second and third game today; 10AM & ???
More games throughout the weekend.
1. AP Human Geo- Knox
2. Chemistry Honors- Yu Wong
3. English 2- Dutton
4. Algebra 2- Wendlin (MIGHT CHANGE THOUGH)
5. Spanish 1- Hernandez
6. Girls Basketball- Sandavol
Lemme know if we have a class together :D
Okay, what was done is done...I can't take back the fact that you think EVERYTHING'S wrong, when its not. I feel so stupid, like its not even funny. Its stupidity plus immaturity plus complications times 915981398! (hard math xD) ANYWAYS, what was said, I can't take back. All I can do is move forward...and hopefully you'll move with me. I didn't mean what I said last night...I honestly don't know what I was talking about. I don't know if I was PMSing or what not, but I'm taking full responsibility. I'm sorry for worrying you, I'm sorry that I can be a hand full, I'm sorry that I can be very stupid and immature at times, but hey, that's how I am. I know I might not be the perfect girl and I know I can be complicated, but hopefully you can tolerate all of that. I'm sorry for last night. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. And don't worry about a thing, I was just REALLY REALLY out of it. Please forgive me? And we can move passed this?
Things have been a little different lately, JUST A LITTLE. I've been having these feelings that there is always something wrong. I know we've agreed that we'll be mature about things and talk about it, but we rarely do. We'll always say "nothing's wrong" even though something is. Or we'll tell our friends about our problems and THEY'LL tell us that we have to talk about it. I really don't want to have to do that, but lately, it just seems like that's the only thing I can do. I also don't like the fact that we have so many problems when we're not even together! Another reason why I wanted to slow things down. I honestly don't want to give up on you 'cus you're by far the closest thing I have to perfection. You're super nice, but can be a jerk...but that's how I like them (; You're athletic, AKA likes to stay in shape. You're not SUPER TALL but not SUPER SHORT, perfect height for me x] You get along with my friends, most of the time xD And you already got their approval. I never met someone who has so much in common with me, but still have a little differences. Those are just a few things I like about you, and I can go on forever, but I won't.
The thing that's been bothering me is that we say we trust each other, but in reality, we barely do. I mean, we trust each other in certain things but not in ALL things. So why do we keep saying "I trust you"? I rather us be honest with each other and be like "I don't trust you 100% just YET". I'm not the type of person to say something and not mean it. I HATE it when people use the "three little words" in vain...absolutely USELESS if you don't mean it. AND the thing I don't understand is how we don't trust each other if we didn't do anything to screw each other over, ya know? Like I didn't hurt you (I hope) and you didn't hurt me, so why do we have trust issues? Honestly...I want everything back to normal, before all the "babes" and what not. Just start off fresh...back to when we first admitted we liked each other. I hope everything falls in the right places for us. I really don't want to have to give up something so rare, that would be a stupid mistake.
