Long Goodbye

I am on the verge of going back to you. I need to reassure myself that my choice is the right choice. I know for a fact what I want, but I keep coming back to what I left. I know I don't want to go back to the way things were because one way or another, the results are gonna stay the same, but somehow I just keep reminiscing. Although there were GREAT times, I just can't see myself going through the same crap I went through. But I loved those times; the laughs, the sweet talks, the warmth I felt when I was in your arms...but all good things come to an end. You are going away in a couple of weeks. I hope you already realized how big of a step you're taking into the real world. You're not gonna be in high school anymore. You're rarely gonna see the old faces you see at school, better yet, you're rarely gonna see me. I am going to miss you. I wished that we could've spent your last months in high school together, but bad karma came around. I hope what I'm saying will clear things up for you. I know I've been making things seem like I want to start things over, but I don't. How can we start over when things are already coming to an end? The school year is basically over. It took us two months to start talking again, but its too late. The thing that's gonna hurt me the most is not being able to see you as much as I used to. I rarely get to talk to you because, apparently, you don't have your phone anymore. I can't talk to you in person because I don't know how to approach you. Things are just too "awkward". Last Friday was the first time in months I physically came in contact with you, when you bumped into me during lunch. I honestly didn't see you, and my friends say the "didn't see you" either. Even though its a lame way to get close to you, I'd replay that moment any day. DAMMIT! There I go again...going back & reminiscing. I don't like the way things are but I have to accept it. There is no way in hell that I can get you to stop doing the sh*t I don't want you to be doing, but I'm strong enough to accept it...well at least I'd like to think I am. I hope this clears up any second thoughts in your mind. As of now, I don't want to regret anything. I hope the best for you. I hope things go well for you in the future, and hopefully some day, we can be close again just how it used to be...consider this a long goodbye.

Love,
Ria

Messages to Certain People.

-I'm sorry I don't feel the same way for you, but I'm just not completely over him yet. You might think its stupid, but he's always gonna be in my heart. I'm sorry...

-WHY THE F*CK YOU TALKING SH*T ABOUT THE BEST THING YOU'LL EVER HAVE, B*TCH?! YOU'RE A F*CKING DUMB@SS!

-You guys have been there with me this whole year and I'm glad I met you all. Although we may have issues with each other, we'll always move on passed them. We accomplished so much this year. <3


BIPOLAR MUCH?!
had to get it off my chest.

Walnut Prom '09

May 9, 2009, 7:00PM-11:30Pm- Walnut Prom '09



So yesterday was probably one of the funnest days of my freshman year, even though there's a million others! x] Prom was so fun! Liiike its gonna be even better senior year when I have K.E.R.M.Y.Z there with me (: So anyways, this was basically my schedule of the day:

7:30AM- Call from Erin saying she's coming over in a bit
8:00AM- Did my own nails 'cus i'm lame like that xD
9:00AM- Erin finally arrives at my house
9:15AM-Shower
10:ooAM- F*CKED UP my nails, so I had to do it over again
10:15AM- Puente Hills mall to buy silver heals; lagged til the last minute...Erin picked the cutest shoes <3
11:00AM-Eat at Great Khans with Erin & my mommy
11:45AM-Left back to mi casa
12:00PM to 1:00PM-Erin does my hair; did it twice 'cus it flattened the first time :[
1:15PM to 2:00PM- Did my own make-up ;D
2:01PM- Got my crap together; clutch bag + money + masks
2:30PM- Haue took me & Erin to Xpose
2:35PM to 2:50PM- Waited for my date; Alex is such a lagger xD
2:52PM- Erin takes a bajillion pictures of me & my date xD
3:00PM- Said goodbye to my momma of the day, Erin :[
3:15PM- Said goodbye to my gay brother, Haue
3:30PM- Took the 'professtional' pics
3:45PM- Alex & I leave to Jessica's house
3:50PM-5:00PM- Waited at Jessica's house
5:00PM- Went back to Xpose
5:15PM- Went to MickeyD's while Jessica & her date took pics
5:20PM to 6:20PM-THE LONGEST WAIT EVER!
6:20PM- Jessica & her date FINALLY take pics
6:30PM- Left to Ashley's house to meet up with the other couples
6:45PM- FINALLY left to Prom
7:20PM- We arrive at Prom :]
7:30PM to 11:30PM- HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE <3
12:00AM- Left to drop off certain people
12:15AM- Got dropped off at Ashley's house to go to an after party
1:00AM to 2:45AM- LAMEST AFTER PARTY EVERRR! -____-
3:00AM- FINALLY HOME; mo'effin' TIREDDDDDD!
3:05AM to 3:30AM- Watched TV & ate the bagel Erin gave me from this morning xD
3:30AM- RIA PASSES OUT.

AWESOME DAY & AWESOME NIGHT! :] <33
I will MOS DEF NEVER forget Walnut Prom 2009
Pictures will be up ASAP.
Won't be picking up Xpose pictures until Monday :[
OH WELL...
Thank you everyone who helped make this an awesome night <3
Erin, Alex, & Mommy to name a few :]

Alright, so Mother's Day today...
Gotta tell my mommy I love her :] <3

love,
Ria Custodio

Hard to Realize.

"People will never change for anybody, only for themselves." -Madeleine Custodio

Some things in life are meant to be confusing, it helps keep the mind going. Things are meant to be figured out, just like life. You never know what "life" will throw at you, but one thing is for sure...realization. You realize a lot of stuff...from the way you change and the way others change. I've come to realize that my mom's quote is true, how people will never change for anybody, not even their significant other, but only for themselves. I always believed that I can make a difference in someone's life, but HELL, I was wronggg! I would stress for days, weeks, and months just to try to change someone for the better, but as I kept trying, I realized that I am not making any progress. People will change only for themselves...if they want to lose 10 pounds, they will stay at the gym for an extra hour or two. If they want to get an A on a test, they will stay up until 2 in the morning studying. As I came to this realization, it saddened me. I wasted all that time trying to change you, while I could've have been doing something that would have at least progressed. I am not saying that I regret trying to help you because I don't. I just wanted you to show me that you appreciate how much I care enought to stick by you for weeks telling you that what you're doing now is wrong. I really don't want to sound like a control freak, but seriously, YOU'RE EFFIN' UP YOUR LIFE! I know you're so much better than that...you're greater than you think. FUHH! If it takes this much to make you realize this, than I don't know what to do anymore. You're on the verge of losing the BEST thing in your life...YOUR BEST FRIEND. That fool has stuck by you like no other! He's put up with your b*llshit for months! You guys accomplished so much, and you're gonna throw all that away for something so stupid and useless? If so, then obviously that sh*t you've been taking in has f*cked up your brain!

I've come to realize that you can't change somebody, but only impact them.
It may be hard to realize, but that's life.

dress hunt

sooo prom is this saturday, may 9, & i'm hella excited! (: alotta girls say that the best part of dances is looking for your dress...BUT NOT FOR ME! -_- EFF MAN! as you all know that i am a VERY SMALL girl, i barely fit into anything! sooo dress shopping for me is a PAIN! -_- plus, i have no one to go shopping with me...i have K.E.R.M.Y.Z, but none of them drive! :[ soooo last sunday, may 3, i went dress shopping with jerome. LOL! AWKWARD MUCH?! its okay, he "loves shopping with me" xD anyways...i found this REALLY cute dress from forever XXI, but it was sooo short! but i bought it 'cus i had nothing else. i went to get an THUMBS UP from my gay brother, haue. he said it was not "prom"ish. we went to the brea mall to return it, BUT EFFIN' FOREVER XXI DOESN'T GIVE CASH BACK! -____- sooo $50 wasted! FML!! oh well, i'm getting store credit on that SHIIII! but anyways, i'm lucky that my bro has a buncha lady friends who have dresses :]] we ended up borrowing dresses from our good friend, kristine hofilena :] <3 THANK YOU SOOO MUCH, btw. sooo the dresses are CUTE! & they're longgg...which might make me look shorter but idgaf :] sooo yeah, i got my dress...sorta ish. there's two & i need to choose the best one. one's white & the other is black, it sounds boring but TRUST, they're mo'effin' CUUUUUTE <33

comment/message me on myspace if you want to see & vote on the better one (: