alriiiight, so may 1 & may 2...CHILL @SS DAYS <3 st. martha's fiesta was whack this year! the only good ride there was "zipper". plus, alotta people didn't go. the best part of it, though, was seeing all my old friends. reunions feel sooo gooooood! <33
st.martha friends ^ walnut friends v
may 2nd, i went to the festival again, it was whack...i stayed from 4 to 6ish. it started getting fun when i had to leave -_- anyways, after that, i came home & got ready for madho's choir concert. erin's mama came to pick me up, then we went to pick up erin & yasmina from yasmina's house. the actual concert was actually VERY GOOD. i was impressed...madho did GREATTTT, EVEN IF she said she "messed up". MY @SS! lol. anyways, after the concert, "MR.YE" takes a lil' trip to The Boat & CUEEEE :] SOOO MUCH FUNNN! <3
so today i got asked to prom by my good friend, ALEX NAJERAAA! :]
oh it was a good day! took my english cst test today...i think i did pretty good. umm, geometry, bio, & PE were a breeze. i got a note during PE saying to go meet someone at my old 6th period classroom.
sooo i went & some asian guy gave me another clue. it said to go to the lunch tables where me, alex, & cara sit while they ditched 6th.
sooo i went...alexa gave me another clue. it said to go the "X", 'cus there's only one "X" at the school xD LAME.
sooo i went then cara gives me a clue. i'm like "WTF?! WHERE THE HECK AM I GOING?! -_-" anyways, it said to go to the basketball courts, which was cute 'cus i play ball! x] yeaaah...lame too xD jk.
so while we were walking to the basketball courts, cara made this "cough noise" & i see alex in front of me with a sign that says "prom?" with a buncha balloons & a masquerade mask x] HOWW CUUUUTE!! awe, thanks alex :] he made everything himself, VERY TALENTED for a guy! thank you for taking the time & effort to think of something after i totally RUINED your first idea...which by the way I'M REALLY SORRY about. xD & thank you for everyone who helped him with the idea & me carrying my stuff; cara, madho, zerreyna, alexa, & some asian guy...i don't even know him so i can't put his name down -_- OH WELL... THANK YOU AGAINNNN!!
prom should be funnnn! :]] i can't wait. the theme is 'masquerade ball'? i don't know, that's what i heard. anyways, to be honest, i didn't think i would get asked to prom this year...LETS GOOOO! :D all four dances in my freshman year! WOOOO! :]]
sooo yeah...that was my day :] <3
EFF TODAY MAN! today was chill in the beginning, ya know? it was my godsister's dad's birthday party today! i came home around 8ish 'cus there was school tomorrow. anyways, when i get home, my dad starts yelling at me. i'm like "WHAT THE F*CK?" -_- sh*tttt...plus, i was all buzzed so i'm like double the "WHAT THE F*CK?!" i get all pissed, starting yelling & sh*t. like i effin' swear, i think this was the most pissed i got EVER. -_-
anyways, later, jerome texted me saying my friend was in the hospital for "hyper ventilating". they think it was 'cus of his girlfriend...effin' raising his blood pressure & shiii! THE FUH?! WHAT KINNA GIRLFRIEND DOES THAT?! -_- so i was effin' scared, so i start asking all these questions. hopefully he's fine.
F*CK! today was good, tonight was horrible! shiii! i started crying -_______-
EFF MY MO'EFFIN' LIFE!! X91849258590!
but friday & saturday was bomb!
why the eff did today have to ruin my weekend?! EFF! >:[
to forgive is to forget.
i'm barely at the stage of forgiving...& i highly doubt i can forget.
i feel so disappointed & broken. i know tomorrow is your birthday & as much as i want to greet you, i can't 'cus apparently...we're not in good terms. well first i talked to my friends about a good way to greet you a happy birthday. MOST of them said i should, only a couple said i shouldn't. anyways...i decide i should, so you know that i still remembered. i asked my friend, if i should tell you in person or through text [either way it will be awkward but at least it you know i still care]. she said to text you first so i know if you're willing to talk to me.
Sent: April 21, 2009, 9:52 P.M.
"hi"
i finally had the balls to text you in how many weeks? about two months. i'll admit, i didn't want to, but i did. 'cus i thought to myself "what do i got to lose?" i waited...& waited...& waited...no reply. i texted my friend again telling her that you didn't text back...she told me a lot of stuff that opened my eyes, mind, & heart. i feel so stupid for believing YOU & NOT believing MYSELF. i had feelings that i chose to ignore. i'm an idiot, a stupid teenage girl who obviously can't make good judgements. it hurts 'til this moment that everything you've done, everything you've said to me was all BULLSH*T! again...i believed you & not myself...
i honestly don't know what to do. i WANT to be friends with you, i WANT to talk things out, i WANT things to be good between us...but those are all "wants"...i don't NEED them. so i'm just gonna forget about you. you obviously don't think about me anymore...you obviously don't care anymore...since you moved on that fast, i will too. now...i know i'm not gonna be as fast as you, but i'm willing to forget EVERYTHING; every text, every call, every hug, every kiss...all will be forgotten. i hope that someday, someone will ask me about you & i'll reply..."who is he? i do not remember him." ONE DAY, i hope that will happen...ONE DAY.
as of now...
i just want to wish you a happy birthday...
OH & have a great life.
lates.
